5 scripts support workers can use during a crisis

Because what you say in the heat of the moment matters.

When a child or young person is in crisis - yelling, running, hitting, or shutting down - it can be hard to know what to say. Your heart might be racing. You might feel panicked, unsure, or pressured to act quickly.

But in crisis situations, words can either escalate or de-escalate.

That’s why having go-to phrases that are trauma-informed, regulation-focused, and grounded in behaviour support principles can make all the difference.

Here are 5 scripts you can use (or adapt) when things get hard.

1. “You are safe. I’m here with you.”

Use this when a child is in fight-or-flight mode, yelling, throwing, bolting, or crying.

Why it works:

• It speaks directly to the nervous system.

• You’re not asking them to do anything; you’re offering safety.

• It grounds you, too.

Even if they don’t respond, keep your tone slow and steady.

Optional add-on: “We’ll get through this together.”

2. “You don’t have to talk right now. I’ll stay nearby.”

Use this if a young person is shutting down, refusing to speak, or withdrawing.

Why it works:

• Removes pressure to communicate

• Respects autonomy and regulation pace

• Maintains connection without intrusion

Avoid hovering or repeating yourself. Just be there, calmly and quietly.

3. “Let’s take a break. You choose – here or outside?”

Use this when the situation is escalating, but safety isn’t yet compromised.

Why it works:

• Gives the child agency

• Offers movement or space (a known regulation strategy)

• Keeps your tone low-demand and supportive

Even if they refuse, you’ve planted the seed of an alternative.

4. “I can see this is really hard right now. Let’s find a way through it.”

Use this instead of punishment or control-based responses.

Why it works:

• Validates their experience without approving unsafe behaviour

• Shifts the focus from blame to support

• Positions you as a co-regulator, not a punisher

Optional add-on: “You’re not in trouble. Let’s just figure out what’s going on.”

5. “You can tell me when you’re ready. I’ll check in again soon.”

Use this when a young person is dysregulated and refusing to engage or receive feedback.

Why it works:

• Respects their space

• Leaves the door open for repair

• Sends a message of safety and non-abandonment

Always follow through – check in gently, don’t avoid.

Quick Reminders for Crisis Communication:

• Keep your voice low, slow, and steady

• Use fewer words

• Avoid sarcasm, commands, or rhetorical questions

• Focus on what’s helpful, not what’s deserved

• Stay grounded – your nervous system shapes theirs

Final thoughts

You don’t need to have the perfect words. You just need to lead with calm, safety, and connection.

In crisis, kids aren’t testing your limits; they’re trying to survive their feelings.

When you meet them with empathy rather than escalation, you become part of their regulation and, eventually, part of their healing.

Rosie 🌹