Understanding complex trauma: what every support worker should know

Because behaviour makes more sense when you understand the story behind it.

If you work with children or young people in care, you will encounter the impact of trauma. Not occasionally. Not rarely. Regularly.

But there is a difference between a single traumatic event and complex trauma. And understanding that difference can completely change how you interpret behaviour.

What is complex trauma?

Complex trauma refers to repeated, prolonged exposure to traumatic experiences, often occurring in childhood and within caregiving relationships.

This can include:

  • Ongoing neglect

  • Physical or emotional abuse

  • Family violence

  • Chronic instability

  • Multiple placement breakdowns

  • Exposure to substance misuse or mental illness

  • Repeated loss of caregivers

Unlike a one-off traumatic event, complex trauma shapes how a child’s brain, nervous system, and sense of self develop over time.

It is not just something that happened to them. It becomes something that shapes them.

How complex trauma impacts development

Children exposed to chronic stress adapt in order to survive. These adaptations are protective, but they can look confusing or challenging in everyday settings.

You may see:

  • Hypervigilance and constant scanning for danger

  • Explosive anger or aggressive behaviour

  • Emotional shutdown or detachment

  • Difficulty trusting adults

  • Intense reactions to minor changes

  • Controlling behaviour

  • Difficulty with transitions

  • Challenges with attachment

These are not personality flaws. They are survival responses.

When a child has learned that the world is unpredictable or unsafe, their nervous system stays on alert. Even neutral situations can feel threatening.

Why behaviour can seem “out of proportion”

To an outside observer, the reaction may seem bigger than the trigger.

For example:

  • A raised voice may trigger panic

  • A cancelled plan may trigger rage

  • A gentle correction may trigger withdrawal

For a young person with complex trauma, the present moment is often layered with past experiences.

The nervous system reacts first. Thinking comes later.

If we only respond to the surface behaviour, we miss the underlying survival response driving it.

What support workers need to shift

  1. From “What is wrong with them?” to “What happened to them?”

  2. From control to safety

  3. From punishment to skill-building

  4. From power struggles to power-sharing

  5. From taking behaviour personally to understanding it functionally

Support workers are not just managing behaviour. They are helping to reshape a young person’s experience of adults, safety, and trust.

That is significant work.

Practical trauma-informed approaches

Prioritise safety and predictability

Use clear routines. Give warnings for transitions. Follow through on what you say.

Stay regulated

Your nervous system influences theirs. Slow voice. Calm body. Steady tone.

Validate feelings without endorsing unsafe behaviour

“This feels really hard right now”, acknowledges emotion without approving aggression.

Avoid shaming language

Shame reinforces the belief that they are the problem.

Focus on the relationship first

Connection is not a reward. It is the foundation for change.

What complex trauma does not mean

It does not mean:

  • The young person is incapable of growth

  • Boundaries are unnecessary

  • Behaviour should be ignored

  • Accountability disappears

It means that boundaries must be delivered within safety and relationship.

Structure without connection feels controlling.
Connection without structure feels unsafe.
Children with complex trauma need both.

Final thoughts

Understanding complex trauma does not make the work easier. But it makes it clearer.

When you see behaviour through a trauma-informed lens, you stop reacting to defiance and start responding to distress.

You become part of the corrective experience.

And sometimes, that steady presence is the most powerful intervention of all.

Rosie 🌹

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Why traditional discipline doesn’t work the way we think it does

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From meltdowns to moments of connection: a carer’s guide to co-regulation